You know… this question that we’re talking about today is an unusually painful one. It’s a very hard thing to think that God might not be answering me. This question comes up when some hard things are going on in our lives that make us look to God for help. So we do. We ask him for help. But he is not answering like we think he should be. The struggle usually goes something like this. You’ve probably experienced this at one time or another. We have a problem of some sort and it concerns us because it’s too big for us to solve. So we pray to God and ask for his help. We know we should do that, and others encourage us to do that. But…nothing happens. The problem just goes on. So we keep on praying, and the problem still goes on with nothing changing at all. First we get weary, weary of dealing with our problem, weary of continually praying about it, and (even more) weary of seemingly getting no response from God. And then after we’ve been weary for awhile, we begin to have a problem with prayer. We find ourselves wondering if it really does any good, if it’s worth it to keep on praying. But a little later we slip into another struggle. We begin to doubt ourselves. What’s the matter with me? Don’t I pray right? Aren’t my prayers good ones? Is there something wrong with my faith? Is it too small? And after a while it gets even more painful. Soon we are not only weary, and doubting prayer, and doubting ourselves, but we begin to have a problem with God. Where is he? Is he out there? Does he listen? Does he care? And when you get there, it’s not a very large step to becoming cynical or angry. Have you experienced this? Can you identify with what I’m talking about? Now, some folks are not comfortable with the term “unanswered prayer”. They somehow want to believe that God answers every prayer in one way or another and so they try to explain away the whole idea of “unanswered prayers”. They feel they have to paint it over. But the fact of the matter is that in actuality, when we are struggling with the fact that nothing seems to be happening, it does feel to us like it is unanswered prayer. If I am praying for some change, and no change seems to happen, then to me it’s an unanswered prayer. And that can have a great impact on our personal relationship with God. What it really comes down to is that there is an apparent conflict between what the Bible says about prayer and what is happening in our own experience. And we struggle with how to reconcile the two. You see, the Bible says prayer is good, it’s powerful, and it makes a difference. So we find many prayers in the Bible, prayers that obviously made a difference. We hear Jesus say in Matthew, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find” and then he went on, “For everyone who asks receives….” (Matt.7:7, 8) And we remember that in John’s gospel he said, “The Father will give you whatever you ask in my name”. (John 15:16 and 16:23) And the apostle James said, “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16) and then he substantiates that claim with the story of Elijah who prayed first that it would not rain and it did not for three and a half years, and then he prayed that it would rain and it did rain! So with things like that in the Bible, I would expect that when I pray it’s going to make a difference, and things are going to change. Wouldn’t you? But then there are our own experiences which do not match that. We have this problem that must be resolved, so we pray about it, but nothing happens; there is no resolution. We pray for healing from the disease for our loved one; and she still dies. We pray that our business will thrive, but it doesn’t. We pray that our marriage will survive, and it falls apart. We pray for our children and their course of life, but they still get into trouble after trouble. You could add many more to the list. So what do we do? Our experience at times just seems so contradictory to what the Bible says! And when that happens we are right at home with some other folks in the Bible. Folks like David, who prayed a lot, and yet was not immune to the kind of contradiction we are struggling with. There are two somewhat similar Psalms that we should think about. You heard one of them read a few moments ago. Psalm 13 is clearly identified as a Psalm of David. But there’s another very similar one. It’s Psalm 10, and it may well be one of David’s Psalms too. I’m going to assume it is. These two Psalms are not what you would expect to hear in the Bible. They are blunt, earthy, complaints from a man who is struggling with the silence of God. Listen to the cry that goes up to God in both of these:
“Why, O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1) “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? (Psalm 13:1)
Very frank complaints to God, don’t you think? If you read the remainder of these prayers you will see that these words come out of a feeling of helplessness. Enemies are threatening him; the wicked are oppressing him. It may be the Philistines, or Saul, or something else. But he is feeling very vulnerable. That’s one problem. The other problem is that his prayer life doesn’t seem to be making any difference. He’s feeling let down. God doesn’t seem to be doing anything. True, he’s trying hard to hold on to his confidence in God’s ability and God’s willingness to act and change things, but he is finding that very difficult. He sounds like a man who has picked up the phone to call for help, only to find there is no one on the other end to answer. Surely you know what that’s like — you know you have the right number, and you are sure someone is supposed to be home, but nobody answers. Surely we all know about that! Well, what do we do? And what can we say about this? Or better yet, what does the Bible have to say about experiences like these? I think you’ll find it encouraging to know that the Bible doesn’t leave us alone out there with our struggles. On these pages you will find a good deal of encouragement and help. On the one hand, I find it very freeing to hear complaints like these we’ve read from these two Psalms. The Bible is a very realistic book that meets us right in our practical experiences. It’s a book that understands what we have to deal with from time to time. And, as a matter of fact, the presence of these complaint—prayers on the pages of the Bible, actually gives us freedom…freedom to be that honest with God. Yes, we can admit to him how hard a struggle we’re having. We don’t have to hide it, paint it over, or pretend that everything is OK. Yes, it’s OK to be honest with God. He can handle that. He can handle every struggle we blurt out at him. What he can’t handle is when we are dishonest with him, or pretend that he isn’t there. So, go ahead, express your complaint to God if that’s what you are feeling. But then the Bible also tells the stories of a number of others who have dealt with the same struggle and through their stories we find help and insight. One element of that insight is that we must be aware that God’s ways are often different than our ways. It may be possible that God is deliberately delaying his answer, and delaying it for some good reason which we may not be able to understand. We see this in the story of Mary, Martha and Lazarus as it’s told in John 11. They were very close friends of Jesus. They spent a good bit of time together. Well, Lazarus became very sick, and Jesus happened to be out of town. So Mary and Martha sent an urgent message to Jesus, “your friend is sick, very sick!” And the implication was…so please come as quickly as you can! But Jesus didn’t. He deliberately delayed. John 11:6 we’re told that when Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, “he stayed where he was two more days.” I’m sure Mary and Martha just could not understand the delay. They must have been terribly disappointed. After Jesus did get there, only to find that Lazarus had died, Martha even said, Lord, this would not have happened if you have gotten here in time! But Jesus knew that in God’s good timing more glory would be given to God through Lazarus resurrection. So he delayed….Or it might be that God is wisely denying what we are asking for. And denying it not because he doesn’t care, or doesn’t love us, but because in his wisdom he understands things we don’t. You see that in the prayers of the Old Testament prophet Elijah. At one point in his ministry, Elijah became very exhausted and discouraged. The story is in I Kings 19. Elijah wanted to quit, not only to quit, but also to die. He was so depressed that he left town, went out in the desert, sat down under a broom tree and he prayed. But you know what he prayed? “I have had enough, Lord, take my life”. (I Kings 19:4) That was his prayer. Take my life! But God denied his request. Instead of taking his life, God fed his body, sent angels to care for him, encouraged his heart, and gave him new assignments in ministry. It was obviously a very wise denial on God’s part. Another possibility is that God has an alternate plan in mind. Maybe he will be answering our prayer but in a different way with a different plan, yet aiming to accomplish the same goal. The apostle Paul was a godly missionary who would stop at nothing to preach the gospel everywhere. But he had a personal problem which he referred to as a “thorn in the flesh”. We’re not sure what it was but it was obviously some physical problem that was a frustration to him. So he prayed about it; three times; “God remove this, please.” But God didn’t remove it. The thorn stayed. But God did do something. He explained to Paul that he had an alternate plan. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,” (II Corinthians 12:9). So Paul’s direct request was never granted. The thorn remained. But God did answer his bigger concern and provided grace to live powerfully even in the face of this weakness. I can see that many of my prayers have been answered with an alternate plan on God’s part. Can you? And therefore there is another one we must think about. It’s our perspective on things. Often we are too shortsighted. Answers are coming, but we are not able to see them because we are shortsighted; we see only the small picture. The story of the Old Testament prophet Habakkuk illustrates this. There is a small book by his name near the end of the Old Testament. It’s a digest of a dialog between himself and God. And, frankly, as a prophet he’s struggling with the same question we are — why isn’t God answering? You see, Habakkuk was praying to God for some deliverance and help. He was perplexed. Wickedness and oppression were widespread in Judah; Habakkuk was praying for revival; and nothing seemed to happen. So the book begins, “How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?” (Habakkuk 1:2) Now doesn’t that sound familiar! But God’s answer to him is very interesting and can be of great help to us. God tells him that, though it may seem like he is inactive and silent, that is not true. God is at work strengthening a neighboring enemy nation, who will attack them, and eventually stir Judah to turn back to God. You see, God was answering but he was busy working behind the scenes, where Habakkuk could not see it. The answer was coming, but the prophet was looking in the wrong direction. But I must tell you there is one other possibility the Bible tells us about. This is kind of a hard one, one that we don’t really like to hear. The Bible tells us that there is such a thing as “hindered” or “obstructed prayer”, in others words, prayers that God hears but chooses not to answer because of some hindrance within us. In Psalm 66 verse 18 the Psalmist admits “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” The prophet Isaiah speaks for God in his first chapter and says (1:15) “When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. For your hands are full of blood…” And the Apostle James tells his readers that when they ask they do not receive because they are asking (Praying) with wrong motives. (James 4:3) In all of these instances, the love of sin and sinfulness, has hindered or obstructed prayers that could otherwise be answered. So all of those circumstances are factors for us to consider. But in all of it, there are two considerations that are not possibilities. It is not possible that God is uninterested in us, for everywhere the Bible tells us that he is merciful and gracious to us. And it is not possible that our prayers fail just because we don’t have enough faith, for we are told that faith even as small as a mustard seed is sufficient. “So, what shall I do?”, you ask. “How can I make some headway in resolving this awful struggle I have with thinking that God is doing nothing, that he is being so silent?” I’m glad that you are willing to ask some of these hard questions. Often we can’t get beyond the questions until we begin identifying the questions we have. So, be willing to ask yourself about some of the things I have just mentioned. Is it possible that God is delaying for some reason; or that he is wisely denying a request that would not be good; or that perhaps he has a better alternate plan; or that if you could see the big picture you would see that he is indeed at work answering; or is it possible there is some love of sinfulness in your life that is hindering your prayers? Do not be afraid of probing questions like that. But I would also caution you to be careful about how much you feel you can demand of God. It’s true we may tell God all of our needs, and we may ask help with all of them. But sometimes, I’m afraid, we also think we can tell God exactly how he ought to answer and exactly what he should do. And then if he doesn’t do it in exactly our way, we think he’s being silent. We call for help, but we must leave it to him to decide how and in what way he will help. And there’s another caution too. Don’t assume that just because God is silent it means he is inactive. It’s easy to jump to that conclusion, I know. But not all silence is inactivity. Let me say that again — not all silence is inactivity . Sometimes while he seems silent he is busy working out of view, in the background, getting everything ready for just the right time, like we see with the prophet Habakkuk. But I also want to say the same thing I said when we discussed the question, “Why do good people suffer?” We must learn to trustingly live with mystery. There are and always will be things that we can’t understand. There will always be some of God’s ways that we can’t fit into our finite minds. The ways of God are sometimes beyond our comprehension. And so, though we cannot understand why he doesn’t seem to be answering, we affirm that he is God, he loves us, he is merciful, trustworthy; he is the source of all good, and we can trust him….no matter what! The Psalmist does that in these two Psalms we’ve read. “But….” He says (and that’s a big one) “But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.” (Psalm 10:14) Yes, he does. Even if I can’t see it! I trust him. Oh, and one other thing. Keep on praying. Don’t give up…even when you are tempted to doubt its value. There is a very stirring parable that Jesus told in Luke 18. A widow was calling on a judge for some justice; and the judge paid no attention to her. Day in and day out she kept coming to him, but he wouldn’t listen. Finally, after many such attempts he helped her. The point, Jesus said, is not that God is like that Judge who doesn’t care, but that we should always pray and not give up. So, I say to you today, no matter how deeply you doubt, or how hard you struggle, don’t quit praying. So, all of our praying comes down to trusting God. It comes down to a deep sense of trust. And how can we do that? How can we know he’s worth trusting? Well, my dear friends, just think of what he has done. Think of all the ways in which he has reached into your life in times past, times you may be tempted to forget about now in your struggles. And think about all the ways in which he has reached into the lives of others near you, and of others down through the halls of history. Think of how he has loved, cared, supported, rescued, carried and pardoned. Even to the point of sending his son Jesus Christ to this world to be the payment for our salvation. Imagine that! He sent his son to live here and love sinful people; to die here and pay for our sins; to rise from the dead to accomplish victory over death for us. Think of all of that. Surely he listens and answers. I love the way the Apostle Paul puts it in Romans 8 (verse 32) “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” Keep praying, and keep trusting God, even when you can’t see what he’s doing!
Prayer
Gracious Lord, you have told us that you will listen to our prayers. And we believe you. And so we have prayed about many things. We have told you our thanks, our praise, our adoration. We have also told you about our own needs, the needs of those close to us, and of others in our world. But it is very hard for us when we don’t seem to see any changes. Sometimes we call, we even cry, but nothing seems to happen. Even for a long time. And that’s hard for us, Lord. And so today we pray for something else. We pray for the kind of help that will make it possible for us to be patient, to trust you, to wait for you, and to be willing to let you do things your way in your time. So, most of all, Lord, we ask for the grace to trust you, and to remain faithful to you. For the sake of our Lord, Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
Howard Vanderwell
Howard Vanderwell was ordained in the Christian Reformed Church in 1962. He received his M.Div. and Th.M. degree from Calvin Theological Seminary and his D.Min. at Westminster Theological Seminary in California. He has served as pastor to four congregations over 40 years in Iowa, Illinois and Michigan. After leaving the pastorate in 2002 he began a new ministry at Calvin College and Calvin Theological Seminary. He is currently a staff member at the Calvin Institute of Christian Worship at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, MI and Adjunct Professor of Worship at Calvin Theological Seminary. He consults with local congregations, provides worship materials, leads conferences and workshops, and teaches courses on worship at Calvin Seminary. Howard’‘s interests include planning, leading and evaluating worship, preaching, and worship renewal throughout the evangelical church. “My life-long prayer, from my days as a child, was that I might be honored to serve as a Christian Reformed pastor preaching the Word of God to encourage and challenge his people. I consider the forty years of my pastoral ministry to have been the most valuable way in which I could have invested those years! When I consult with pastors, teach and mentor students, hold conferences for worship leaders, or write worship planning materials, my aim is to equip and inspire others to serve their Lord and Savior by making a whole-hearted investment in his church and his people. Such ministry is certainly not without its stresses and discouragements, and those of us who have found such joy in a life-time of ministry are uniquely fitted to encourage others.” Howard lives in Hudsonville, MI with his wife Eleanor. They have three married sons and ten grandchildren ages 5 through 19. His hobbies are yard-gardening, walking, photography and model railroading.
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