LOOKING FOR HOME
A friend of mine who works as a Christian counselor told me that as we get older, we tend to talk more about the past. Why? Because we reach that point where our personal future is short and our personal history is long. It’s then that we begin to do what my friend called a ‘life review.’ We remember good times and bad. The results of a life review isn’t always so pleasant.
Some time ago, I was sitting with friends having coffee. I was thinking about my own life. I’m in my early fifties—rather early for a life review——but old enough to have gained a little perspective on the past. In a moment of candor, I said to those at the table that when I was in my 20’s I expected to have made great progress in my moral life by the time I was 50. At 25, I thought that by the time I doubled my age I would have cut my moral failures in half. But things didn’t turn out that way. Too many of my bad habits and sinful tendencies have stuck with me for more than 30 years now. I haven’t made nearly the progress I had expected to become a better person.
Maybe, regardless of your age, you feel the same way. Frankly, you’re like me——ashamed of the things you’ve said and done. Oh, I know that there are those who tell us that we aren’t supposed to feel shame or guilt anymore. We’re supposed to have moved beyond such quaint feelings. But the truth is, when we do that life review, whether we are 28 or 88 ——— we cringe. Our lives, honestly, embarrass us.
WRETCHEDNESS: TOWARD A DEFINITION
Do you remember this line from Amazing Grace? “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me . . . “A lot of people like to gloss over that word ‘wretch.“ Me? Wretched? We aren’t wretched anymore, are we? Sometimes a little confused perhaps a bit depressed—but not wretched.
Or are we? Something deep inside us tells us that something is wrong—seriously wrong—with our lives. Did you know that the root meaning of the word ‘wretched’ means “in exile“? A wretch is someone who is banished from home. You’re wretched when you’re cut off from your native land——when you can’t find your way back to where you belong.
Recently, I was reading the author, Maya Angelou. Angelou is a black American who spent several years in Africa during the ‘60’s. She went to Africa because she thought that she would be returning home. After all, weren’t her roots in Africa? But what she discovered was that Africa wasn’t home for her. But America, with its racial prejudice, didn’t always feel like home either. So what did that make her? Well, something like an author without a country. Feeling homeless. Feeling wretched.
I look around and I see a lot of wretched people. People who are essentially rootless. Oh, they may live in a decent neighborhood. They may even have a prestigious address. But no matter how much they achieve, no matter how much they acquire, there is no deep—in—the—bones sense of joy. A sense of wretchedness, a sense of homelessness remains.
Why? Because our problem isn’t one of geography. It’s not a problem that can be solved by moving to a better part of town. Our problem is one of the spirit. We are cut off from God. Our real home is with God. Our real place of residence is with the family that names God as Father. But our sin, our guilt, messes with what should be our permanent address in the Father’s house.
Karl Menninger, in his book, “Whatever Became of Sin?“, tells of a sunny day in September. A stern—faced man plainly dressed, could be seen standing on a street corner in Chicago’s loop. As pedestrians hurried past, he would dramatically lift his right arm, point to the person next to him and intone loudly a single word: GUILTY. Then, without a change of expression, he would resume his stiff stance before raising his arm and repeating the charge at another pedestrian: GUILTY.
The effect of his behavior on passing strangers was extra—ordinary. They would stare at him, look away, look at each other, then hurry on their way. One gentleman was heard to mutter as he went on his way: “But how did HE know?“ No doubt others felt the same: “But how did HE know?“
Guilty!! Everyone guilty. Guilty of what? Lying? Unfaithfulness toward a spouse? Guilty of evil thoughts, evil plans? Unloving words? Guilty of arrogance against God?
Oh, but we say—I will make that right. I will give it back. I’ll apologize. What I did wasn’t really me! We have our defenses. We make up our excuses. But none of this really washes. What we need is something that goes beyond cheap justifications. We need forgiveness. We need forgiveness and pardon so real that it undoes our alienation from God.
FORGIVEN!
And that is what makes Jesus’ words so absolutely remarkable. To a paralytic that has been brought to Christ for healing, Jesus declares: “Take heart, son, your sins are forgiven.“
Now, I rather question whether this was the word from Jesus that this man was looking for. After all, this man had made a heroic effort to get to Jesus, not to request a pardon for his past, but in order to stand again on his own two feet. This man doesn’t come saying—Forgive me! He comes saying—Heal me! So what’s Jesus’ point? Does Jesus offer a cheap substitute for what this man really needs?
No. As the Great Physician, Jesus penetrates to the heart of the human condition. He nails a diagnosis of this man’s true condition. Jesus lays his finger on the real source of our misery. Our problem is our sin! And Jesus’ word to this man is the word we really crave to hear: “Your sins are forgiven!“
Now, this is a pretty audacious thing for Jesus to say. After all, we don’t know anything about this man. We don’t know who he had hurt, who he had wronged. There may well have been people in the audience who were ready to say, “Jesus, how dare you offer forgiveness to someone who has wronged me, messed up my life.“
That’s the charge the Jewish authorities bring against Jesus. Who is Jesus to offer this man forgiveness? And before we get put out with those teachers of the law, perhaps we should remember that they were simply trying to defend the honor of God. Yes, the honor of God. After all, only God can forgive sin! Only God can pardon the sinner! So what is Jesus doing anyway? Who is he to forgive? I’ll be honest if I had been there I think I would have been fuming along with everyone else.
In response, Jesus asks a simple question: “What is easier to say—Your sins are forgiven,’ or ‘take up your bed and walk?’
Now, I will tell you what we think is easier. We think it’s easier to say: “Your sins are forgiven!“ It seems much easier to flippantly pronounce forgiveness than to perform a miracle of healing. But any good student of the Old Testament Scriptures knew that it’s really the other way around. It’s easier to HEAL than to FORGIVE. There were prophets in Israel who had healed the sick, restored the lame even raised the dead! But there had never been a prophet who had the ability to say by virtue of their own authority: “Your sins are forgiven.“ Yes, forgiveness is harder than healing.
When it comes to our relationship with God, there is such a mountain of guilt that only God himself can move it. Who can forgive, but God alone? That’s what the religious authorities said.
Forgiveness is harder than healing. But to prove that he can do the greater, Christ does the lesser. He says to the paralytic. “Get up!“ And the man stands up on his two feet and heads for home. The radical healing points to radical forgiveness.
Why can Jesus do this? Why can Jesus perform a miracle of healing that testifies to the miracle of forgiveness? Because Jesus himself has come to deal with the root cause of human wretchedness. The Father has sent his only begotten Son into a world alienated from its true home. The Son has come in order to deal with the guilt that separates us from God.
Jesus is about to go the cross. He is about to experience what it means to be fully estranged from the Father’s house on our behalf. On the cross, Jesus cries out, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me!“ He cries those words because on Calvary the door to the Father’s house is slammed shut in Jesus’ face for the sake of sinners like you and me. The door closes to heaven. Jesus becomes the ultimate wretch! And why? So that having borne our guilt, Jesus might open the door of the Father’s house and lead wretched people like you and me into the joy of the Father’s presence.
GETTING BEYOND THEN TO NOW
“Son, says Jesus, “Your sins are forgiven.“ Isn’t that wonderful! But what of other people? Perhaps, we say, this paralytic wasn’t such a bad guy after all. Perhaps, with all he had gone through dealing with his disability, he was something of a spiritual saint already. But is forgiveness something that is really a possibility for everyone, regardless of how much we’ve messed up?
Well, check out where the story goes from here in Matthew’s Gospel. Matthew juxtaposes this healing with a calling—the calling of a tax collector by the name of Matthew.
Now, I have to tell you, you and I may not be pillars of virtue, but most of us wouldn’t have been caught dead hanging out with Matthew. As a collector of taxes, Matthew was both a swindler and a traitor to his own people.
Do you remember Vidkun Quisling? Vidkun Quisling was a Norwegian army officer who betrayed his country into the hands of the Germans during World War II. He assisted Germany in their planned invasion of Norway. He used his power as a Norwegian officer to hasten his countries defeat. For his efforts he was appointed Germany’s puppet in the German—occupied Norway. To this day Quisling is another word for traitor.
Well, Matthew was a Quisling. He was a Roman collaborator. As a tax collector he was free to gouge his own people as much as he wanted, as long as he gave Rome its due. In Jesus’ day, few people were considered more scummy than a man like Matthew. Certainly, if we were organizing a religious organization today, Matthew wouldn’t be on our short list of likely board members. Having Matthew as a volunteer would give our work a bad name.
But Jesus doesn’t share our apprehensions. Jesus says to this slimy tax collector—“Follow me.“ And if that doesn’t make the point clearly enough, he goes to dinner at Matthew’s home and spends time with Matthew’s seedy friends. Why? Doesn’t Jesus know that if you live with garbage you smell like garbage? Isn’t Jesus afraid that his own reputation is going to be tarnished if he keeps hanging out with this kind of company?
Oh, Jesus knew the risks. But He also knows that he has not come to call the healthy but sinners to repentance. No case is too tough for the Great Physician, friends. He has come to bring forgiveness to the toughest cases imaginable.
AND YOU?
Perhaps a tough case like yours. Maybe you identify with Matthew. Oh, maybe your sin isn’t as public as Matthew’s. Maybe people aren’t tempted to spit on you as you walk down the street. In fact, maybe you have a sterling reputation. Everyone tips their hat to you. They hold you up as a model of morality. But you know who you are behind the façade. You know how you’ve acquired your money. You know the kind of person you become when you’re with your family and no one else is watching. You know the shameful memories that keep you awake at night. You know your guilt.
Susan Howatch in her book Glittering Images introduces us to Charles Ashworth whose life is nice. So nice. He is an Anglican Clergyman. Who comes from a nice English family. Who has written a nice book. And has a nice position at the university. And whose nice marriage ended tragically in the death of his spouse. And whose present life style is squeaky clean—so nice!! Nice, everything is nice. Except that his nice family has bickered unmercifully for 40 years. And his nice father had told him he wouldn’t amount to anything. And in his nice marriage, he had so driven his wife to despair by his perfectionism that he knew down deep that her death wasn’t accidental but suicidal. And his nice English lifestyle was interrupted by trips to France to visit prostitutes. And when he is confronted with all of this he says———but all of this isn’t ME!! And why not —says his spiritual director. Who are YOU?? And Ashworth needs to admit—I am . . . ——my glittering image. “
Glittering images!! How many of us don’t live by projecting to others a glittering image. But what if we discover what Charles discovered, that we can’t live with the glittering image. The weight of wearing the mask to cover up his sin is too heavy. The guilt that we work to keep buried is simply too overwhelming. Outside is the glittering image—the gracious smile—the image of morality. But inside is corruption and horror and guilt of sin.
Here’s the good news. Estranged children can come back to the Father. Lost children can find their way back to home. For Jesus is true to his name. Jesus saves. He came for a paralytic. He came for Matthew. He comes for you. Never underestimate the power of Christ’s gospel for your life. For far from being obsolete, this gospel is what brings what is truly NEW into our world. In fact, the gospel announces that those who trust in Jesus have been ushered into a newness that is nothing less than an experience of resurrection. Paul says in Ephesians 2: “God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms . . .“ THAT is the power of forgiving, renewing, restoring grace!
I am wondering where you are as you hear this message. Perhaps you tuned in this message while you were sitting in your living room, in the house you’ve lived in for the past 50 years. You live in a community where everyone knows your name. It feels like home. If that is so, I’m happy for you. But even with roots that go down deep, does it really seem to you have you’ve found a place for all eternity? Is something missing?
Or perhaps you are in a very different setting. Perhaps you’ve tuned in this program while far from home. You’re catching this message on your car radio, as you drive through a city that is unfamiliar to you. In fact, you’re surrounded by millions of people—but none you know well. Or perhaps you are catching this program while in a local jail or a state prison. Ever since those doors slid shut behind you, you feel as though you were in exile. Or perhaps you literally are in another country. You caught this program while twirling the dial, and the sound of someone speaking your own language kept you listening. You grow nostalgic as you listen. You’ve been on the road so long you don’t know where home is anymore.
Have you ever thought that all those feelings of homelessness are God’s nudge to help you think about where your true home is to be found? It’s time to come home to God. And Jesus provides the way for that homecoming. Meet him in faith as your Lord and Savior. Hear him as he calls you to entrust yourself fully to his care. Hear him invite you to a life of walking by his side. Listen as he says, “My child, your sins are forgiven.“
Today, enter into the joy of the Father’s house.
Robert Heerspink
Rev. Robert Heerspink is a native of west Michigan. He completed his undergraduate studies at Calvin College and holds the degrees of Master of Divinity and Master of Theology from Calvin Theological Seminary. He has also received a Doctor of Ministry degree from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Bob was ordained a minister of the Word in the Christian Reformed Church of North America in 1979, and has 26 years of parish experience, having served four churches throughout west Michigan. He was appointed the Director of The Back to God Hour in 2006. Bob has written several resources related to congregational stewardship, including the book, Becoming a Firstfruits Congregation. He is a regular contributor to TODAY, the monthly devotional of The Back to God Hour. Bob is married to Edith (Miedema) and they have three children. His hobbies include reading fictional and historical works, watersports, and occassional golfing.
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